A Day in the Life of Chaos

I used to admire the elderly.  Oh in many ways I still do.  I value their insight and their perspective.  I marvel at the world they have known in their lives and how it has changed.  How they survived the hard times and prospered.  How some just survived. Politics however has given me a different perspective.  It is a much uglier perspective and not one easily spoken of. The truly elderly are the most remarkable in my mind.  Those that have retained their minds in a late state of age.  My father recently regaled me with a tale of my grandmother's first political contribution.  She was shy to give, 10 dollars was all she could afford and she was afraid it would mean nothing.  A visiting campaign worker canvassing for a local city council candidate was present and my father interceded.  "Would ten dollars help?"  he asked. "Oh yes!" she replied.  "It takes six dollars to buy a t-shirt."  "Six dollars!" my 93 year old grandmother excla

There is something warm and furry in my house. It has a pink nose and demonic red eyes that provide a counter balance to it's seemingly cute and cuddly nature. It runs in the night like a ghost passing through walls and it searches the dark recesses of it's lair for buried treasure. It has freakish hands that grip like mine as it opens pockets of treasure and reveals the morsel tuck within. As often happens to a parent despite my best effort at strength I is was undermined by a vast array of elements poised against me.   These include the begging eyes of a child and the sympathetic support of a grandfather.  It is enough to make the strongest mountain cave in upon itself.  Grandfather's are in the unique position to support any desires of their beloved grand child while being able to walk away to the tranquility of their own home.  Ahh... what a luxury.  At the same time be careful of what you reap my mind reminds, as the very same child is filling himself with diabolica

Growing older is a stage in life.  It doesn't matter if you are young or old, the constant is always the progression of age.  Coupled with this, is the feeling of being left behind. It happens to us usually when we are associated with a group.  We seldom hearken back to a moment in time, rather a period of life when our minds and emotions were satisfied.  When we shared a commonality with others in an experience.  Youth provides fertile ground for this.  It is a unique stage of life when we are surrounded by a group experiencing exactly the same thing.  We see them day to day and often feel the same frustrations, the same pain.  It is a time when others share our age and we gaze out through the window of life from the same perspective.  I think for this reason when we age we often look back at our youthful years with nostalgia like none others.  They were a time of innocence when our lives were still largely unwritten.   Life presented few constraints over possibility. For this

Recently former and possibly future presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, a minster from Arkansas and darling of the conservative Christian community gave a speech about health care.  As a minister I anticipated words filled with compassion for the sick and care for the poor.  This was after all the message of Jesus.  Throw out the money changers in the temple and care for the down trodden.  Had I lived prior to 100 A.D. Jesus would have likely found me to be a great sympathizer.   Well Minister Huckabee spoke concerning the issue of the new health care reform, specifically the new law that now forbids insurance companies from not insuring a person with a preexisting condition.  No longer can an infant born with a condition be denied.  No more can a person with a medical problem be denied coverage and sentenced to either death or poverty in the face of medical bills they can't afford.  While I would think Minister Huckabee's Christian leanings would have caused him to laud

There is a time in every parents life when they wonder if the punishment fit the crime.  When their child does something they shouldn't do, how do you respond?  Even worse, how do you respond when the crime is serious in the eyes of another and quite ridiculous in your own? I have attempted to look back to my own past for guidance yet have come up dry.  Perhaps it was because I was vastly more culpable of serious infraction than my child.  On the other hand, it might have something to do with the fact that on one occasion when my mother attempted to seriously punish me the entire affair ended in disaster.  I remember it as clear as day.  In my family there is this spoon.  Legend has it, it was given by a Russian Czarina to my Great Grandmother after she performed a piano concert for her accompanied by the legendary Polish pianist Paderewski.  In truth my grandmother was the family equivalent of a solitary bass fisherman who claims to have hooked a small whale in a local lake. 

Incoming Message: August 29, 2010 4:41pm 810-941-XXXX >>Hey boo its desmine (Creepy crawlyy Who was this this desmine in Michigan and why was he sending me a text on my phone?  I scanned my brain, Creepy crawlyy, Creepy crawlyy... With so many messages flying around the world it is only natural some deviate from their intended course.  I guess it is the modern equivalent of a letter miss-sent.  The kind that shows up in your mail box and you are immediately consumed with guilt.  Should you: return to sender, try to find the right person or trash it?  It seems somehow computer communication has intensified the problem.  Now the single miss-key of a digit or a letter can make all the difference. I remember once sitting in the office in a base camp in Trinidad, Bolivia.  I was stationed with an agent and earlier in the day another agent had sent me a highly critical email concerning him.  I can't remember why I copied it but I did and pasted it in another location.  A

In life there are sign posts everywhere.  They lead us in so many directions that explain the paths and courses our lives have taken yet often, we never see them.  They are like mile markers on a highway, nearly invisible unless you actually decide to open your eyes.  Freud would make you look into the subconscious to understand the conscious but I don't believe you need to look that far.  I think you need only look at the way we live our lives. There is no path into our own lives as descriptive as the one exposed when you have a child.   How we raise our child and the attitudes we take are shaped by our parents in so many ways.  Even when we try to correct the mistakes our parents made in our own lives, we find that those mistakes inadvertently have a direct bearing on our children.  Human beings seemingly by nature are prone to the negative.  I am not sure why this is but it most certainly is.  When we reflect upon our own lives, for some reason the negative always seems to ste

Outside my office building there is a tree root that that has enveloped an irrigation pipe.  The pipe is lifted and is slowly buckling as the root grows over and under its captive.   The pressure on the plastic pipe must be enormous and in a matter of time the pipe will inevitably break.  Water will spill and maintenance will fix the leak.  Everything will seem the same but in truth it won't be.  Nature will again have proven that in man's never ending march toward progress it will always ultimately define the outcome. It seems as I grow older I find myself seeking to find my place in the world.  It is a world filled with change, constantly adjusting, never quite the same.  I  feel like the pipe, twisting and turning and some day I will break.  When you are young there is no limit to time yet some day you will wake up and realize that time is changing all that is around us including ourselves. When you live in a modern country like America we gain little sense of the past.

Oh my homosexuals can get married.  Suddenly I wake up in the morning and my conventional marriage means nothing.  The temptations are so great, I am seriously thinking about becoming gay.  Think of the advantages, a sense of design, a spouse I can fight with.  Someone beside me snoring in the bed.  Maybe he will cook for me!  It is everything I dreamed of.  I have always wanted to be gay and damn it, now I can do it.  Wait...  hold the presses... I just realized something.  My life is no different than it was yesterday.  In truth, my marriage is not threatened, I am not any gayer than I was on Wednesday.  I still get that better tax bracket and I do believe, I still have health insurance.  Hmmm... what happened? What happened?  A big group of people finally got their version of civil rights, at least momentarily.  The majority was told that they can't pass laws impacting the rights of minorities.  That they have to respect the Constitution.  Was that so bad?  It was kind of

My father always seemed old.  Okay, maybe older is a better word.  He never seemed ancient and he certainly has never been like "old guy."  Old guy is a guy in my office that is slightly 10 years older than me but has seemed old since probably the day he was born.  I swear to God his mother gave birth to him and he came out in a tie gripping about those nasty kids.  He drives a Cadillac, need I say more? My father never even seemed older in the way that young people view those 10 years their senior.  Like they some how came from a world alien in from their own.  A world with completely different culture, values and rituals when it comes to growing up. No, my father just seemed like a father.  He mostly stood in an adult world but still had or toe or two in the world of a child. As I cross through the midpoint of my life I often look at myself in terms of my father.  I consider my age and the stage in life of my son.  I think about how when I was at that point, my father s