A Day in the Life of Chaos

The beautiful and intelligent Sanna Marin Former Prime minister of Finland There is a curious thing that happens as we age, the old become young and the young become older.  I know this seems odd, please allow me to explain.  When we are young we look up to those we understand.  Those that seem within reach.  Often they are young athletes or celebrities.  They are the idols that we hold and we admire their talent, ability and perhaps wisdom.  Suddenly, one day not so late in our lives a curious thing happens, our age surpasses them.  One day we turn on the television and that sports idol is suddenly younger then us.  With each passing day they look more and more like children. The aged warmonger and bringer of death  Vladimir Putin (Wikipedia) As we progress through life we look at those older than us as the sources of wisdom and guidance.  They are the echos of thought and life experience that we trust.  We look to them for advice and in the world around us, seek their steady hand t

Today a couple of my coworkers with ages close to half mine asked me what I would do retired.  Do I have a hobby?  Like do I like to build models or something? One suggested submarines; I don’t know why.  I immediately thought about an odd coworker I once had who would build WW2 models in his house while his equally odd children were homeschooled.  I always imagined him hunched over with one of those extendable magnifying glasses putting the final touches on an SS officer standing beside his Panzer tank.   My visions then led me to the Illinois Nazi in the Movie “The Blues Brothers” who in one scene is sitting at a desk painting a ceramic eagle.  I didn’t really know how to answer the question. I really don’t have any hobbies.  I wish I did, but they take so much space and I don’t even know what interests me.   I told him maybe I would become a re-enactor.   I was joking but honestly it seems like it would be fun in a guy sort of way.  On second thought, maybe I don’t want to go sit i

  As you age everyday is a mystery.  In the morning you wake up and like a computer booting up do a systems check.  Knee working, back not hurting, headache nope feel fresh, urinary system functioning, the list goes on… everything okay… check… it’s going to be a good day.  Then the morning routine kicks in.  A handful of pills and a cup of coffee.   Salvador Dali At some point there is a certain realization that nothing will ever get better.  When you have a car you can at least buy a new set of tires.  There is a good chance that they will work as good as the original ones if not better.  Every time I have to replace some part of my house I always ask the service man how this new version of whatever I had will make my life better.  Typically they will shrug and give me a look that says, “Just wait for the bill.”  Sometimes, not to be defeated, I will pore over the service manual or promotional material and relish the smallest detail.  I definitely did this when I had to spend 13,00

The dusty arid cliffs of Eastern Oregon rise from the land like monuments of the past.  Each crag and crease are skeletons of mountains long vanished.  Small pine trees stick out from the bone dry slopes, each green sliver pressed against the cloudless blue sky seems to cling precariously to life.  Concurrently every tree works to renew life by shedding pine needles adding to a sparse layer of top soil that dusts the rock foundations like hairs on a balding man’s head.  The enormity of the landscape seems to minimize my own presence as my eyes absorb the entirety of the vista stretching from one side of the horizon to the other.  I feel so small. When you are young you want the years to pass, when you are old you want them to stop.  There is something about age that makes you appreciate lost time. Perhaps it is because we know our life is finite and with each passing hour it marches toward a final curtain.  I tend to think of my life in blocks. My son took twenty years to raise, twenty

Karen Goerler I think a lot about aging.  I think it is because I am aging.  Well in truth we all are.  It is an inescapable reality of life.  I wrote a blog called “Today is the Youngest I Will Ever Be.”  I think as you grow older this phrase becomes increasingly apropos.  Like a computer we constantly run a systems diagnostic on our body and each pain, creak, or scatterbrained moment becomes a source of questions.  Is this a sign?  Is it the beginning of something or only momentary discomfort?  Did I do something I shouldn’t have or is this the moment of inevitable decline?   As we grow older our lives and physical well-being are impacted by the lives of those we have grown old with.  Like soldiers in a battle when one falls the others look around and wonder if they will get the next bullet.  Recently a high school classmate of mine passed away.  She was only 50.  She was a good person who lived a good life.  There was no simplistic explanation of why cancer should have ta