A Day in the Life of Chaos

  Sometimes when I think about life and the journey we take, I think about it as made up of many signposts. Each one is unique to ourselves and our lives but as we look back over time we find many have become beacons of life. A point in time when we changed in some way and found the path that has led us to the present. It can be a dangerous recollection because we are at risk of allowing our minds to wander into the unknown. The world of what might have been can be enticing however, it can also be risky as a mode of thought.  This is largely because there can be no resolution.  We can't change or re-live the past, only move forward from the decisions we made. The summer of my nineteenth year I was eager to find myself. I wanted to break out into the world and make my own decisions. I wanted to leave the protective custody of my parents but like most young kids, I subconsciously wanted to find independence without fully losing the security of parents and family.  When a ch

When I was 12 I started to date Italy.  It was really more of a blind date, I never knew her.  I traveled there with my parents as part of a grand European tour.  The kind that sent us blasting by train from capital to capital and recalled the seminal movie of European tourism, If It's Tuesday This Must Be Belgium.  At one point we spun the dial and landed in Rome.  It was a chaotic place compared to the other grand European cities I had seen.  It was also ancient.  London was wonderful, Paris grand.  Vienna was regal but only in Rome did I feel like I was stepping toward antiquity.  Monuments a testament to time and civilization stood in stark contrast to the lines of traffic and the occasional modern building.  I don't remember a lot from my time there but I do think it was a taste of my future.  I remember horns honking, Vespa's whizzing by and the smell of diesel in the air.  I remember my father's frustration as he struggled to pull flimsy luggage carts over cobble