A Day in the Life of Chaos

  “So its for sure now, I will retire.”   I have been waiting 33 years of my life to say that.   The only ones that can relate are those that have experienced or will experience the same thing.   I am learning that the hard way.   I know my wife doesn’t understand.   She never had the experience of showing up for the same job for 33 years.   This was mostly by design as our transient life never allowed her the consistency of a career.   For 33 years I have had to be responsible to something other than myself and my family.  I have had to follow the government’s rules.  I have had to live my life around the demands of another.  For some people their career becomes their identity.  They are their job.  It is a function so intertwined with day to day existence that when the link is broke their life loses meaning.  I am not one of those people.  I am grateful for my career.  For the places it has taken me and the life it has given me.  I am also grateful to leave my desk and computer b

There is an agent in my office named Alex. He is young, approximately 29 or 30. He is about to have a child with his wife. A young little creature is expected to make his presence known in this world in a week or two. Alex is the same age I was when I went to Bolivia and had a child of my own. When I see him it reminds me of those days. Being young and trying to establish your place in the world. Becoming a father. At that time of life I had just met two close friends who I have stayed in touch with throughout my life. Both were significantly older than me. Alfredo was less, probably six years older than me. Ira was much more senior.   Our age difference was more like 24 years. By the time you hit your late 20’s and move into your 30’s you realize that age doesn’t mean so much anymore. When you are young it is everything and then its magnified. In your teens a friend more than a year or two from your age is almost inconceivable. A person more than 10 years older seems