Retirement and Illinois Nazi’s
Today a couple of my coworkers with ages close to half mine asked me what I would do retired. Do I have a hobby? Like do I like to build models or something? One suggested submarines; I don’t know why. I immediately thought about an odd coworker I once had who would build WW2 models in his house while his equally odd children were homeschooled. I always imagined him hunched over with one of those extendable magnifying glasses putting the final touches on an SS officer standing beside his Panzer tank. My visions then led me to the Illinois Nazi in the Movie “The Blues Brothers” who in one scene is sitting at a desk painting a ceramic eagle. I didn’t really know how to answer the question. I really don’t have any hobbies. I wish I did, but they take so much space and I don’t even know what interests me.
I told him maybe I would become a re-enactor. I was joking but honestly it seems like it would be fun in a guy sort of way. On second thought, maybe I don’t want to go sit in a dirt hole with a bunch of old guys and play soldier on the weekend while eating stale biscuits. I admire those that do though. Essentially lonely guys they sure do have passion. I wish I had that passion.
Sometimes on a weekend I play an occasional video game with my 50 something friend in Florida. We met over 20 years ago and still keep in touch. Two old balding guys sitting on their sofa getting killed by kids. It’s a good thing he lives in Florida and I live in in Oregon. If we were close enough to meet in person we probably wouldn’t know what to do. All we have ever done is sit at a TV on opposite sides of the country or world and press buttons.
My parents seemed so much older when they retired. I can’t imagine my father in his fifties playing a video game with his friend. My mother was a craft person and always had tons of things to do. Stain glass, knitting, crochet, sewing, reading, gardening, ancestry the list went on and on. She also always lived in houses with a lot of space. She also passed away three years older than I am now, a reality I am terrified to think about.
My father sort of had hobbies but not really. He liked to photograph door knobs when traveling. In his house he has boxes of slides forming one of the greatest collections in the world. He also surrendered his body to a life time of pain, the likely consequence of lugging a 50 pound camera bag across four continents. His spine never forgave him for the act of attrition. After he retired most of his life became consumed with repairing the disintegrating physical world around him all the while dealing with his own physical disintegration.
I obviously love to write but one can only vomit so many words in the course of a day. In my opinion one of the great exchanges in cinematic history occurred between the Emperor of Austria and Amadeus Mozart in the film Amadeus after the emperor listened to his latest composition. I always think of this when I compose something textually.
EMPEROR: Well, Herr Mozart! A good effort. Decidedly that. An excellent effort! You've shown us something quite new today.
MOZART: It is new, it is, isn't it, Sire?
EMPEROR: Yes, indeed.
MOZART: So then you like it? You really like it, Your Majesty?
EMPEROR: Of course I do. It's very good. Of course now and then - just now and then - it gets a touch elaborate.
MOZART: What do you mean, Sire?
EMPEROR: Well, I mean occasionally it seems to have, how shall one say? [he stops in difficulty; turning to Orsini-Rosenberg] How shall one say, Director?
ORSINI-ROSENBERG: Too many notes, Your Majesty?
EMPEROR: Exactly. Very well put. Too many notes.
MOZART: I don't understand. There are just as many notes, Majesty, as are required. Neither more nor less.
EMPEROR: My dear fellow, there are in fact only so many notes the ear can hear in the course of an evening. I think I'm right in saying that, aren't I, Court Composer?
SALIERI: Yes! yes! er, on the whole, yes, Majesty.
MOZART: But this is absurd!
EMPEROR: My dear, young man, don't take it too hard. Your work is ingenious. It's quality work. And there are simply too many notes, that's all. Cut a few and it will be perfect.
MOZART: Which few did you have in mind, Majesty?
EMPEROR: Well. There it is
Of course this film stared Jeffery Jones as the Emperor, also known for his role as the principal in Ferris Bueller’s Day off and Tom Hulce as Amadeus fresh off staring in National Lampoon’s Animal House. These two films aside from Amadeus were simply genius.
And with that I will spend my final two months working contemplating my navel and what the hell I am going to do when I no longer am required to report to a job at 8:00 in the morning that I long ago lost interest in. What time does Daily Blast Live start?
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