The Youngest I'll Ever Be

"Today is the youngest that you will ever be."  I have been thinking about this phrase a lot lately.  In a subtle way I think it is almost like the phrase "do you view the glass half empty or half full?"  I suppose I tend to lean toward the optimistic side.

In a way this simple phrase has become a kind of motto for me in my life.   As time passes if we spend too much time reflecting on the past or contemplating the future things tend to vanish before our eyes completely unnoticed.  Simply put, the present will be our pass and moments ago was our future.

I know with each passing day my body is growing older yet despite the age spots on my hands and arms, the flab around my belly and the unexplained discomforts that seem to appear with ever increasing frequency, I must remind myself that today I am young and I should feel young. After all, today is the youngest I will ever be.

Soon I will say goodbye to America.  When I started my career a seemingly inexplicable 25 years ago I wanted a profession that would take me to the far corners of the earth.  A profession that would seek out new and different stimulation.  I wanted my mind to feel alive and challenged with new knowledge.  I accomplished this early on.  I went to school in Europe, I married a woman from the Philippines and I lived for six years in Bolivia.  Then a child was born.  Everything changes when you have a child and I wanted him to feel stability and permanence; this despite my restless voices in my brain calling out for the world beyond my door. 

Somewhere in that process I grew older.  I started to forget my feelings of youth.  Still something spoke to me from the deep recesses of my psyche.  Sounds pleading to re-awaken the dark alleys of my mind.  After 14 years of stability last year when I heard a knock I chose to answer the door.  I applied for and was granted a position in a city in Northern Thailand. 

Today my future has become my present.  I am aware of it every time I see my wife and son.  I know I will be without them for awhile as we all transition to a new life.  I feel it as I start the frenzied process of getting myself and my life to Thailand.  I will soon see it as I wake with new feelings, new smells, new knowledge and new passions. 

Today we are younger than we will ever be.  Life has taught me many things but foremost is to embrace that youth.  Feel my youth and let my energy surge from inside my body and mind.  Despite my body I am young this day as I welcome the many changes before me.  Each in its own way will stimulate my youth with each passing day as I absorb the beauty of a land nearly as old as time.

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