The Female Perception of Beauty
"Beauty isn't only skin deep."
Oh we all know that but who really believes it? In a world where our icons are the beautiful and whom are about as far from reality as I am from flying into space, it makes me wonder what the true definition of beauty is. Men are particularly challenged when we try to define it. We are taught from the beginning of our lives that beauty and the sex symbol go hand in hand. Beauty is defined by an actress in a pornographic movie or a model in a Victoria Secrets catalog. It is the 20 something in a tight dress swaying her hips as she walks down the street drawing our eyes and with them our desires. Reality of course reminds us of our inherent fear by paying homage to our middle-aged bodies. This fear speaks like an oracle to the Greeks and shames us into never trying to make a real contact. In truth the vast majority of us were never able to make contact even pre-middle age. We prefer to speculate with our friends or in our minds what will never be. The only exception is the man who is desired for his money be it indirectly or directly paid for the attention of another. It is the dirty secret that we all know.
So why is it that many women seem to be able to overlook superficiality and find a deeper inner reality? Is it a realism in themselves? Is it a window into a deeper and more sincere contemplation of who a person is? Oh there are most certainly exceptions. Many women are motivated by what they can get. Especially those popularly recognized as "beautiful." They use their bodies as tools of manipulation twisting man's most primal instinct. At the same time, the majority seem to venture into the world beyond. They are more willing to read the entire book before passing judgment. Certainly many will turn a few pages and if the story does not seem sufficiently compelling they will place it back on the shelf. Most men don't even know how to read. While they may return the book to the shelf, in truth, who could blame them. There is only so much time in the day. However, if the story seems interesting, many will keep reading.
I once spoke with a bisexual woman about attraction. I pointed out pretty women thinking how cool it would be that we both could check them out together. I was surprised by her limited enthusiasm. Didn't attraction translate the same way? She told me that for her to be attracted there had to be something deeper. It was much more personality based. Okay, that is not to say she would go head over heals for someone really heinous but it did speak to a much more complex attraction.
I think men develop with a certain level of built in insecurity. Of course all people have this, but men are especially vulnerable. We are like pears, easily bruised to the touch. We are insecure about our feelings, our bodies and our sexuality. Often all this prohibits us from seeing beyond a guarded artificiality. We are taught not to recognize or appreciate emotion, only to seek physical stimulation.
As a person grows older I think there is a progressive merging of the ways. Life experience tends to mold us and, as our youthful bodies disappear we must either recognize reality or live in denial. On the other hand, I may be an exception, not the rule. I have found that I can be equally attracted to body and intellect. I am attracted to experience and realism.
With every rule there is an exception but it seems that in my experience a woman seems much more able to peel away the layers of an onion. As long as their eyes don't water too much, they just might learn to enjoy the taste. Perhaps there is a lesson in there and as the years turn I am increasingly learning it.
Oh we all know that but who really believes it? In a world where our icons are the beautiful and whom are about as far from reality as I am from flying into space, it makes me wonder what the true definition of beauty is. Men are particularly challenged when we try to define it. We are taught from the beginning of our lives that beauty and the sex symbol go hand in hand. Beauty is defined by an actress in a pornographic movie or a model in a Victoria Secrets catalog. It is the 20 something in a tight dress swaying her hips as she walks down the street drawing our eyes and with them our desires. Reality of course reminds us of our inherent fear by paying homage to our middle-aged bodies. This fear speaks like an oracle to the Greeks and shames us into never trying to make a real contact. In truth the vast majority of us were never able to make contact even pre-middle age. We prefer to speculate with our friends or in our minds what will never be. The only exception is the man who is desired for his money be it indirectly or directly paid for the attention of another. It is the dirty secret that we all know.
I once spoke with a bisexual woman about attraction. I pointed out pretty women thinking how cool it would be that we both could check them out together. I was surprised by her limited enthusiasm. Didn't attraction translate the same way? She told me that for her to be attracted there had to be something deeper. It was much more personality based. Okay, that is not to say she would go head over heals for someone really heinous but it did speak to a much more complex attraction.
I think men develop with a certain level of built in insecurity. Of course all people have this, but men are especially vulnerable. We are like pears, easily bruised to the touch. We are insecure about our feelings, our bodies and our sexuality. Often all this prohibits us from seeing beyond a guarded artificiality. We are taught not to recognize or appreciate emotion, only to seek physical stimulation.
As a person grows older I think there is a progressive merging of the ways. Life experience tends to mold us and, as our youthful bodies disappear we must either recognize reality or live in denial. On the other hand, I may be an exception, not the rule. I have found that I can be equally attracted to body and intellect. I am attracted to experience and realism.
With every rule there is an exception but it seems that in my experience a woman seems much more able to peel away the layers of an onion. As long as their eyes don't water too much, they just might learn to enjoy the taste. Perhaps there is a lesson in there and as the years turn I am increasingly learning it.
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