Circles of Time - Circles of Life

Freshman Orientation

The older I become the more circles I see in life.  Really it is the consequence of time and living.  Both intertwine and the result is the definition of a pattern once invisible to the mind.  Nothing brings this home like being a parent because in your child you see a shadow of your own life.  Not only do you re-live the stages of life through the eyes of your child they become a reflection of your own life and experience.

My son recently began study at a university yet his course is quite different from most.  Rather than follow in the footsteps of his friends and attend college in the place he was raised he has followed his nomadic father on an unconventional journey through life.  I have tried to give him everything I had, because in truth I regret little about the path I have followed. My parents gave me a home in Alaska.  It was a place for me to bloom that was not to big to breath. A small city where I could learn to appreciate life, friendships, relationships and nature. I didn't own it, but as a renter in life it created a foundation for much of who I am today. 

The awkward Austrian

For Noah I found a nice house in a quiet neighborhood on a small street.  A place where he could grow and build friendships like I had had so long ago.  In exchange, I let my urges to wander subside and watched him grow into the fine young man he is today.  Despite the consistency and predictability of life he eventually reached a point of decision.  He had to decide if like his father and mother before him, he was willing to venture into the unknown.  The process for him was a torture yet his life experience helped him to manage. He was raised traveling away from his little island of a home and grew up tasting food and cultures distinctly different than his own. I like to think that even his travels that predate his functional memory still somehow created the fertile soil from which he grew. 

Similar to my own life, eventually a day came when he had to decide if he was willing to leave his comfort zone and venture to an unknown world beyond. You see in reality we are the exception, not the rule. Most will never leave that zone choosing in its stead a path of stability and continuity.  I envy them at times. I envy that questions are formulated around simple changes, not life altering shifts. I envy knowing where I will be in one-two-five or ten years. I can still remember the day I left my Alaska home. I was embarking on a life long adventure yet I was leaving behind the friends that I loved. I knew they would never follow.   Their paths were not any less, just different from my own.  

I know when my son chose to follow me he faced the same questions, contradictions and decisions in life.   The friends that were once across the street or just up the road would be a world away.  Life would be filled with much less certainty and instead revolve around questions yet to be answered.  The journey of living is made up with points when decisions we make knowingly and unknowingly will impact the remainder of our lives.  For me one such decision was to attend a foreign study program in Vienna, Austria.  I will return in time to the point where it started knowing that for many of my former classmates, their return had been a kind of pilgrimage.  They made a journey to reunite with the memories of the past,  a journey I still have to make.  When I finished my time in Vienna so long ago I swore that one day if I had a child I would allow them the chance to have a similar experience.  Little did I know at the time that I would have a boy and that his life's course would lead him to the same decisions I had faced.  The circles of life, the circles of time.

Pure Joy

My son's journey has brought back many memories of my own adventures.  As I look at the world through his eyes I can see pieces of myself.  What a magnificent adventure he is on.  Not just a traveler for a year abroad his university is abroad.  He is now a student at a University in Bangkok, Thailand.  When you live in another country it creates a special bond with those around you.  For the Thai students he is a curiosity that has ventured into their world carrying with him respect and admiration for moments of life they have always taken for granted.  In him they see a reflection of themselves and their values they had never contemplated before.  The other foreign students see a compatriot who has traveled far from home and is engaged in the same wild eyed adventure they feel as they greet a world so alien from their own.  

There is something about Noah that is enabling him to take a step beyond others.  He is wonderfully social and wants so much to engage and discover.  Sometimes I don't think he realizes how much the smallest action is interpreted by those around him as a sign of respect.  He purchased a small instrument that is a kind of guitar from Eastern Thailand and is discovering its voice.  At the same time the Thais around him see a deep cultural piece of themselves being loved and respected by a foreigner to their land.  It is beautiful to see them smile and laugh.  To see language exchanged and smiles replacing the holes were words in Thai and English falter.

Every university has their own traditions for new students.  At mine some would run naked across the campus or participate in freshman glee.  In Thailand the upperclassman gather the new students together and surrounding them dance and sing.  The new students join them in an expression of unity and happiness.  In my own time I am not sure I would have found the courage to do what he is doing.  He is the only westerner that participates yet he sings and dances with them as best he can.  His face has a wonderful expression of curiosity and acceptance.  

As life moved on and I look back at those I still know from my youth, a remarkable number are still connected to that short time we spent together in Vienna.  We may not communicate constantly but through the miracle of social networking we follow each other's lives.  Despite the years, there is still something that connects and binds us to a distant point in time.  As I watch my son on his voyage through the same thoughts and feelings I can't help wonder what distant connections he will maintain.  

Music - the universal language

I was afraid when I brought him to Thailand. Afraid that perhaps he might not adjust.  These days I find that most of the adjustment is my own.  Adjusting to not having my wonderful boy beside me but instead watching the world through his eyes as he explores, tastes, discovers and defines the human being he is becoming.