Secrets

Human beings have secrets.  We all have them, some are little, some big.  Some life changing and some insignificant.  They can reflect past misgivings, hidden desires or future actions.  The Catholics figured it out.  Confess and they give you absolution.  Its easy, you do it behind a wall and it goes straight to the big guy.  Is there any wonder there are a lot fewer Jews.  For a Jew when you screw up it is time to deal with the consequence both here and in the afterlife.  Of course also mandating men having to cut their penis might have had something to do with it.

There are a myriad of reasons we keep secrets.  Some are out of emotional necessity, some are simply humility. Every voluntary confession however it is done, is to meet a persons own needs.  It is mostly a way of relieving guilt that nags at the soul and festers like an open wound.  Of course most wounds heal but at the moment the panic of the guilt can overwhelm sensibility.  Confessions are rarely made for the benefit of another, usually they are for the short term benefit of ourselves.

I was considering all of this when it suddenly occurred to me, there is a different kind of secret.  It is a secret interwoven with our own beings.  Secrets about our own thoughts, desires and insecurities that we harbor like a baby in a mother's womb.  We hold on to them not because they impact anyone else, they are simply a reflection of our own perceptions of inadequacies.  Every so often as we journey through life we find a person that we trust.  For some unknown sensory reason our innate sensibilities determine that the person will not judge us, they will only understand.  They might even help us work through something.

There are not many people like this.  Again, the over riding principle of humanity is self preservation and a person truly willing to listen and understand without using the information in some way for their own gain, is quite rare indeed.  The secrets of others have a way of creeping out of ones mouth when the information is needed for self preservation.  Just look as far as a child for an example of this.  Every parent has heard about "friends doing it" a thousand times. 

Some people talk so much about their lives to so many people they make themselves miserable.  Others, keep things bottled up inside and let their own psyche's suffer the consequences.  As previously noted on another day the other day I chose to deal with one of my own secrets.  It was a source of insecurity, even self doubt.  Others might laugh but for me it was real.  I met a person that was willing to listen to my secret and help me through it.  There was no judgment, only reassurance.  In a way it was a kind of confession much more profound yet it was made to a person that heard me and cared.

I think in life we could do so much for our friends and loved ones if we simply followed the same philosophy.  Don't judge them, don't talk about them.  If we really care for them just show this by listening.  Show it by accepting and understanding.  In that way it is like letting a little air out of a balloon wisp by wisp.  Some secrets are worth dying for but they come few and far between.